There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
