What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
