dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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