I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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