At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
