AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize