hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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