I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
apparently the secret to your success is patron
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
