I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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