My liver just broke up with me...
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
