Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
