all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
