Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize