There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
