you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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