so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize