lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
