Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
