I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
