then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize