Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think i got beer on your cat.
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