take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
