I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
