therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
