I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
