thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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