nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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