I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
