I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
