I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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