can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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