Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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