i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Church boner. Awkwardddd
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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