She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize