You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
