No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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