a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
