How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
