apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
