Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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