ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
