Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
