Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
