I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
