she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize