it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
