im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
