Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
