party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
