Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize