oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
