Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
