she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize