hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
