why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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