I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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