I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
