Need sex. Gaining weight.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
