you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
