So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
