I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
