i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
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