Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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